U Can't See Me

Written Jan. 15, 2008 ~ Dedicated to Chamara Hicks… A priceless diamond that has yet to realize her value… I love you

You can’t see me, you can’t feel me

You’re too afraid

I want to let go, don’t know how

I long for you, but I can’t tell that you want me

It seems so silly that a heart could mourn

So silly when a heart is torn

Over a fantasy that I lived alone

We say we’re together and we keep it safe

Leave the exploring to those who dare to dream

No need to know me, you are comforted here

Never really showing me who you are

It seems so silly that a heart could morn

So silly when a heart is torn

Over a fantasy… a fantasy

You build me up to avoid the care

Self sufficient, yeah you like me there

No investment, No effort required

So easy for you to walk away

For us, I dream alone…

I’ve watched you all this time

Seeing the best in you, wanting to share that too

Woke up today and looked at you

Only to find your eyes were empty

When did the light dim? When did it fade?

I must have slept through a chapter of you

Why is my heart torn when it isn’t real?

Woke up this morning

Starred in the mirror

I found myself reaching for your soul

My heart is breaking

For you wouldn’t look back

And then… my reflection stood out to me

And I realized it was my love all along

It was me who is tender and full of light

It was me who cherishes the deepest hues

It was me who created the chapter called “you”

How can a heart mourn over a fantasy that is mine to choose?

Mine to choose

No one can see me when I won’t look first

No one can see me when “I” refuse to be present

Centerpiece on the table for show

Part of the routine… daily flow

Glimpses of truth and I’m shook I’m hooked

I stay afraid so that I can blame

It hurts less if I don’t recognize that “I” don’t see me

It hurts less if I evade the truth that “I” broke my heart

It seems so silly when a heart is torn

Over pain that is caused by only one

All this time…

I didn’t know that the “you” I was looking for was…Me

How is it that “I” didn’t see me?

How is it that I did not see ME?